Just a Little Heads Up

Janet Burke

Contributor

DEAR JANET THE YOUNGER,

That’s you with the long blond hair and striped shirt in the centre of the top row in Grade 6. You probably already knew that though since you’re reading this shortly after that picture was taken. .

It has taken me a long time to come up with a plan and compose something decent to write to you.

My plan is to share with you three things you could have done differently and three things you did right.

So, I have been on the planet for almost sixty years as I write this, and I want to give you some advice now that you’re twelve years old.

Everybody knows the old adage that reads, “if I knew then what I know now, things would be different”, and of course by different, people usually mean better. In hindsight, I would say that the adage is true.

So, let me tell you what I think you could do differently.

The first thing I would encourage you to do is explore more career paths. There will be plenty of opportunities within teaching that you either ignored or were not aware of. Move far away, like Ontario and teach in a boarding school. You will meet new people! Learn French! Move to France or even Quebec. You will end up in Bermuda, but that was just luck. You are fortunate that you will find a good job and wonderful people to work with.

The second thing you could do differently is to work harder at finding a good man. Now that so many years have gone by, I realize that finding that one person to share your life’s journey with is so important. I don’t mean your ‘soul mate’ either. That’s flaky. I mean someone who shares your interests and has a drive and moral fibre that works for you. Don’t worry about looks or money just find someone who you can’t wait to see at the end of the day. 

The last thing that I would suggest is to keep in touch with friends and family. Since you were 12 now, the world has changed a lot. In some ways it is easier to keep in touch with email, etc. but in other ways harder because people not only travel but move all over the world.

We three Burke sisters live in three different countries! I have not kept in touch with friends and family and feel that (once again, here comes hindsight..) I missed a lot of important events! Stay connected.

“Be happy with what you have and avoid looking at other people’s lives and thinking they have it better than you do.”

Now let me tell you about some of the things you are doing right and will keep doing right.

You will be kind to many people in many different situations. Keep doing that. If someone needs a ride, a snack or a helping hand, be kind. Jump in. Help out!

You will be a good teacher, especially in your early days. You will treat the students well and do not play favourites.

You have been a good big sister will always help the younger ones, sometimes even writing essays for them (don’t tell anyone).

You will be a good friend to all the new teachers arriving in Bermuda over the years. You have tried to welcome them into your home and make them feel like family.

One last thing you will be really proud of is being a great mother to Sally and Francis. Just a little heads up for you... on October 13, 1994 you will have twins. They will each weigh more than eight pounds. The nursing staff will be talking about it for weeks.

They are the best kids. They both have gentle natures and lots of talents - not to mention intellect! They are going to spend most of the money you earn in the years that you are supposed to be saving for retirement, but it will be worth it!  

Be happy with what you have and avoid looking at other people’s lives and thinking they have it better than you do. You don’t know what other people have or don’t have. 

Keep your sense of humour alive as it will help you get through life. I just read something yesterday in Reader’s Digest that you as a younger Janet would think is hilarious. Here it is. ‘When I was younger I went to mime school. I still can’t talk about it.’

You have have always enjoyed being and working outside. Try to find hobbies and jobs that will allow you to do that. Enjoy nature. I think that growing up in Edmonton where we swam, skated and played in the snow, and spending summers at Emma Lake has fostered a love of the outside world. 

Read a lot. That is the last thing. It may be old-school but reading is liberating. It can be a ticket to anywhere. Reading is eye-opening, builds character and encourages compassion.

Anyway, Janet, as a teacher I would give you (us) about a 72% grade in life. Even when, you think time is running out, money is short or nobody is there to help you, keep trying. You will have a good life.

You are probably still stuck on your grade... 72%! I think you lost quite a few percentage points for your lack of patience, a degree of envy and the need for things to be perfect. You are a very good poet so maybe do something with that! You are an amazing gardener. Work on that social game and remember that not everyone thinks the way you do. 

Speaking of poetry, here’s a poem I wrote on the spot when challenged by my students. I think it turned out pretty well! You’ll enjoy it.

Birds of the night fly low

wings brushing the earth

swooping princes of darkness

quiet lords of the land

masters of a secret kingdom

Birds of the day fly high

rising with the fog

proud princes of daylight

bold keepers of the canopy

masters of the bright sky

I am not very good at this letter writing business, but I hope you have picked up a few gems in a sea of not so precious stones that you can use in your life.  

Sincerely,

Janet the Older